A couple months after National Adoption Month (November 2014)I received an email from the editor of Adoptive Families Association of British Columbia. The editor explained how impactful the #FlipTheScript campaign was to their staff. After viewing the video, and reading tweets from adoptees they made a deliberate choice to incorporate more adoptee voices in their magazine. The Spring edition of their magazine is now out, and it features the inaugural Adoptee Voice column in which I wrote a piece entitled “It’s Not About Gratitude.”
In the article I share a letter that I wrote to Deborah in my teens (years before I met her.) The letter is peppy, positive, forgiving – a charmer. As I re-read the letter in my adulthood I can see the letter for what it actually was. Here’s a snippet of (the unedited version) my honest reflections from my column in Focus on Adoption Magazine;
Although this letter contains my heartfelt (teenage) truths there was quite a bit that was omitted. In hindsight I am aware that this letter was essentially an advertisement to my birth mother, carefully written, purposefully short in length and crafted with strategic emphasis on societally accepted themes. I could’ve written this letter without the repressed emotions, but I held a realistic fear that a more honest letter may have sounded angry and thus deterred a response. If I hadn’t been trying so hard to write a letter that would please this woman for whom I’d felt a strong connection, I might have written about the sadness I still feel in knowing that there weren’t any hospital flower deliveries, pointlessly gendered pink balloons or any other trinkets that are so often a part of the celebration of new life.
Preview my full article here: